Airport security and aesthetics

One guy tried to set off a bomb in his shoe, and now millions of shoes have been taken off and put through X-ray machines as a result. A couple of guys had a hare-brained scheme to mix deadly chemicals in the plane’s bathroom — which wouldn’t even have worked, as I understand it — and now we have millions of little plastic bags with little travel-sized toiletries.

Some might admittedly view these new practices as over-reactions. Indeed, some might even mourn the fact that there is no foreseeable way out of these stupid practices, as no politician wants to be the one who loosens up the rules and then gets blamed for the next terrorist attack.

But I think we need to look at the bright side — this is an opportunity for the greatest performance-art piece in the history of the world. All we need is a truly dedicated artist to stage an attempted attack and a new bizarre practice can be imposed upon millions of travellers for years to come. (Perhaps we could brainstorm in comments.) This heroic artist would need to be selfless enough not only to risk jail time, but to be willing to forego claiming credit for the piece, as the confession that it was merely a prank might endanger the new practice’s continuation (though who knows?). Only years later could the artist finally come forward and “sign” their massive work, which had played out for years on a stage the size of the entire nation, perhaps adding a note explaining that the project was meant as a commentary on our security-obsessed age, etc.

In a further twist, perhaps next time you’re unlacing your shoes in order to put them through an X-ray machine along with hundreds of your fellow citizens, you should ask yourself, “Has this already happened? Was the shoe-bomber just a performance artist?”

About these ads

5 Responses to “Airport security and aesthetics”

  1. tim kumfer Says:

    You should hurry up and find someone to finish your Agamben translation before you are shuttled off for an all-inclusive vacation at Gitmo.

  2. Amish Lovelock Says:

    Chewing Gum Explosive
    Explosive wigs

  3. christopher Says:

    I think it’d be great if the explosive was the person itself (like the episode of Fringe a few weeks ago where people exploded if exposed to a particular radio frequency)…just to see if the TSA would ban air travel altogether.

  4. Adam Kotsko Says:

    The Girlfriend came up with an idea that she knows is sexist and terrible, but at the same time it seems to me to be perhaps the only truly plausible option: somehow repurposing the wire from a bra into a weapon.

  5. Ben Says:

    Anything involving exploding underpants would add a bit of human interest to the whole security process.


Comments are closed.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,859 other followers