Ramsey regarded her letters as though they were treasures not to be cherished, their value neither monetary nor sentimental. These were not love notes whose excesses one might later come to regret. He once suggested to Miriam that he thought they told a story so slowly as to be imperceptible to him. This made her laugh. —If they tell a story, it is one I’d never want to read.
The shuffling of a dozen church bulletins and the sudden firefly glow of phones displaying the time told Ramsey he needed to find his ending. How to get to repentance, this was always the question. Forgiveness, that’s the easy part, softly and gently Jesus is always calling, he could sing this until his face was blue. If he’s done the job, if he’s laid out the sin and he’s described the shame, getting too specific about how to avoid either was a bit redundant. Everything else about the religion was built on the solidest foundation of assumption, from the a priori beginning to the predestined end, but not this? Though it frustrated him that the church allowed no leeway or shortcuts when it came to navigating the narrow path of their salvation, he nevertheless tried to make it as difficult for them as possible. Read the rest of this entry »